The Principles and Steps of Nonviolence and ME
Transformative Educational Leadership Cohort 3
Inspired by Kazu Haga’s Healing Resistance
In February 2023, I went to Honolulu for the first time and got to spend one amazing day in Maui with a kind soul for which I still hold much gratitude for the hospitality. On our last day in Honolulu, one of my closest friends and I decided to go to a non-tourist beach for some peace and quiet with nature. After a few hours of sunbathing (yes black girls sunbathe too) we get in the water and immediately notice how strong the waves are which prompt us to begin gathering information.
We needed to watch the waves so we knew the exact moment to jump or dive into them.
We needed to know which waves were best to jump over or dive into.
Even with the information we realized we were still being taken under so we decided to employ other skills like swimming through the waves. My friend then begins to educate me on the exact moment to cut through the waves to effectively swim through. Now no one would ever call me a swimmer so at this point, I'm terrified because the waves are monstrous.
The laughter between us was so easy and contagious; I'm enjoying myself through the fear so I decided to personally commit to ameliorating. I focus on the waves, I wait for my friend's cues and even though I'm getting better, one wave still manages to flip me a complete 360. I'm coughing historically from water in my nose, eyes, and lungs as much as I am dying of laughter. It is still terrifying and exhilarating at the same time! I LOVE IT!!! When I'm finally regulated I remember my personal commitment. I negotiated that we move 30 feet to the right where the waves won't kill me; my friend agrees and we start to move directly for safer waters. By the time we got out of the water, we were playing for almost an hour with neither one of us realizing how much time had passed.
As we dried off and changed to head back to the city, it occurred to me that because we had an 18 year friendship journey, we needed reconciliation to offer love as a source instead of negative peace. Since then we've experienced presence and honesty that deepened the intimacy in our relationship. I share this story to illustrate the role relationships and self-awareness play in my nonviolent leadership. While the principles and steps only found me this year, reflection demonstrates all the ways they were already present in my past.
I use the principles of nonviolence to drive my transformation and my lifestyle, while using the steps as the blueprint for all change: physical, personal, emotional, mental, spiritual, professional, organizational, communal, institutional, and global. The goal is to grow so powerful that I carry the Beloved Community with me in all spaces and honor my capacity along the way by budgeting my energy. If it's not in the budget today, it is what is, so flow with it.
I challenge myself to savagely love me and go on a journey to find the human the world has programmed me to forget. I am challenged to see, feel, invest, and love the beauty that is me by committing to cultivating the relationship with myself so I can gather information about how the ripples I create affect the spaces I occupy. That information will help me educate others when they relate with me to start the negotiation process. Negotiation is about being the center of my universe and allowing others to be the center of their universe while engaging in healthy dialogue to determine the conditions for the single universe we want to create together before taking direct actions to make the dream a reality. The process is not linear so I tap into the steps as my capacity allows and fight negative peace in myself and the spaces I enter. I begin to let fear motivate me instead of paralyze me because what's waiting for me on the other side is soooo deliciously powerful and irreversible.
For your reference:
6 steps of nonviolence
Information Gathering
Education
Personal Commitment
Negotiation
Direct Action
Reconciliation
6 Principles of nonviolence
Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people
The Beloved Community is the framework for the future
Attack forces of evil, not persons doing evil
Accept suffering without retaliation for the sake of the cause to achieve the goal
Avoid internal violence of the spirit as well as external physical violence
The universe is on the side of justice
