Travel Tales
On my first flight as an A-Lister on South West, I was heading to Austin. Excited for my A22 boarding, I got on the plane and proceeded to take the window seat and put half of my belongings on the middle seat after the attendant announced there were 20 empty seats on the flight. I then pulled out my phone and put my head down in an attempt to avert any and all eyes wishing to claim the seats next to me.
When eight and a half minutes go by, and I still have my row, I start to get excited... I'm about to spread all the way out. As I completed the thought, a human, whom I would later learn was named Sog, sat in the aisle seat. Now, I'm still thinking boarding has been going on for over 11 minutes now, so at this point, there's no way I'm giving up this middle seat. I overheard someone ask Sog if that seat was taken, and I completely ignored the two of them waiting for me to make eye contact... Sike! The person keeps moving, likely baffled at my silence. As they roll down the aisle, probably cursing my name, I'm secretly doing somersaults because my seat is safe. Too soon, apparently, because shortly after, in comes Erica. Now I hear Erica ask about the seat, and I'm still ignoring and averting my eyes. Erica, unlike our last passenger, is persistent. She asks Sog to touch me and ask, and of course, now I choose to act like a human being and rejoin the world. I take ALL my stuff off the seat as slowly as possible while Erica puts her carry-on in the overhead compartment. She starts to enter the row and stops and moves back towards her luggage, saying the following:
"I'm sorry, please bear with me. My mother passed away four months ago; her stuff is in that bag, and if they accidentally fall and hit someone and I lose them, I will be really sad."
A man of Caucasian descent, whom I believe was taking a crack at comedy, said:
"Oh, you're gonna hit me with your stuff?"
I could tell that Erica was triggered at this point, and her response confirmed it.
"Do you think I want to hit you with my dead mother's stuff?"
She hurriedly ties the tote, places it back in the overhead compartment, and energetically sits next to me, saying:
"People need to keep their mouths shut!"
Three seconds later, the waterworks begin. I intuitively raised my right hand, squeezed her shoulder, and began to rub and massage it.
She shares that she lived with her mother and lost her four months ago. She didn't celebrate Thanksgiving but knew she didn't want to spend Christmas alone, so she traveled to TN to stay with her sister. Now that she's on her way home, it's hard. She then proceeded to apologize for crying many times. I rebut
"Lost is hard, and there are no accidents. The universe understood you needed a listening ear tonight. Cry your tears".
Erica responded with, "You know, lost!"
I said, "I know, lost," and proceeded to make space as I remember vividly the space she currently occupied. Erica apologized so many times as if her grief was something she should spare others from... I made a commitment then to check in when I see a stranger crying.
Once she self-regulated, she said: "God bless you and thank you." And I repeated my universe statement.
She started a conversation with Sog and periodically would exchange a few words with me.
I then decided to document the experience because I now recognize how we (human beings) deal with death, which can deepen sorrow for a grief-ridden person.
I share this story because I saw myself in Erica that day. It's very easy to use our differences to separate ourselves from other living beings. My challenge to you is to express an act of support to a complete stranger at least once a week. The benefits to you may seem invisible at first, but eventually, they show up in the ways you soften up when dealing with strangers, which in turn softens you up in your loving relationships. Softening opens your heart, and authenticity, kindness, and compassion flow. Softening in you increases the world's overall capacity for love and compassion.
